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I don't have one. I usually say purple just because people demand an answer and it's easier to give them one.

Do you like puppies? What is it like to move around. Is it hard and do you feel out a room as you walk through it? It's not hard because I've always been blind so know how to navigate as a blind person.

When outside I travel using a white cane, this is also true if I'm inside buildings like shops etc. But if I'm at my house or friends houses I just walk around and learn where things are.

How can sighted people be better allies to blind people? Because what they're saying is that actually, they don't expect blind people to be doing very well at all, so the fact that I'm a moderately functional adult who doesn't get enough sleep, drinks too much coffee and is constantly stressed is a very very good thing.

When I'm actually very typical for someone in their mid 20's. Just treat blind people like people, and support us with fighting for accessibility and equal rights.

That really is the best way to be an ally. I'm not sure honestly. I've always been blind, so it's normal to me. I do know people who lost their vision who have really happy, secure lives.

Is sex more intense for you? And do you have sex with other blind people, if not how does it feel when you cant see the other person but he can see you naked?

It honestly depends who I'm having sex with. I don't really worry if they can see me and I can't. I've had good and bad experiences, with both blind nad sighted people.

Do you listen to old radio plays? I had a period of time prior to a cataract surgery where my photosensitivity was so intense I mostly lived in total darkness, and these were my favourite forms of free entertainment.

I am old enough that I listened to them on radio, although most were rebroadcasts. Also, do you usually wear any kind of sunglasses or such?

If so, for your own benefit, or to make people feel more comfortable? I listened to a lot of plays in the early s when I was a kid because only a fraction of books were published in braille.

Audio books were expensive and also only a few books became audio. These days I listen to less of them because with things like Kindle I can read almost anything, but they were a wonderful and necessary part of my childhood that I am very thankful I was able to experience.

I have light perception so I wear sunglasses when it's really bright, but not for the comfort of others. I think if my eyes make people uncomfortable it's something they should address within themselves.

Is the halo effect a noticeable phenomenon for you as an arguably perfectly objective observer of sighted people? Have you ever been in a situation and just known that someone is physically attractive based on being inexplicably treated more favourably by others than could be reasonably expected?

How do you feel about this in general? I think so. I definitely noticed this in school. My perception is that people gravitate towards someone who is deemed to be physically attractive, but I don't know if that is true.

Have you ever fired a firearm or played with a sword? I haven't. I considered going to a shooting range when I lived in the US but never did.

When browsing the web -- do ads really screw with your screen reader? Do you use an adblocker? They do, and yes I do. If you could tell the world one thing what would it be?

About blindness? Treat me like any other adult. Not about blindness. Use your vote. What's your favorite place to get a burrito?

I live in England where burritos are sadly lacking, but now I really want one. Would you consider trying psychedelics and reporting back your experiences?

I've tried them before. Really weird, honestly. Mostly auditory but also some physical sensations. Do you understand racism?

Also what's your favorite song? By understand, I think it's wrong, but I understand it as a concept. RAcism isn't really about being able to see colour, it's associating a race with a positive or negative set of attributes.

Blind people are just as capable of being racist. In terms of songs I don't really have a favourite, I've been listening to I and love and you by the Avett Brothers a lot recently.

I was always wondering about this one. There are days when I "overlisten" to music or sounds get pounded and louder until I can't stand it and I need to shut it out.

I would go several days without music or wear noise cancelling headphones to get myself disconnected. It sometimes happens with my vision, where it's just too much information and my brain needs a break.

So I'm wondering what's it like in your case, if you've ever experienced something like that? Where there's too much sensory information and you need to shut it out but you need it to get around?

And another extremely random one. I work and architecture and was trying to figure out how someone would go about designing a house while blind.

Besides textures, how would you try and build a house for yourself if you could? That sounds like sensory processing disorder, which I have experienced aspects of yes.

I'm not sure, definitely lots of outside space and a big kitchen, but those are because of my love of being outside and also of cooking, more than blindness!

So this might sound weird, but my friends have a year old daughter who is blind. What kind of playing made you happiest as a kid?

Climbing, playing football, running about. Just normal kid stuff. To us, travel is a very visual experience, what is it to you?

How do you experience the travel experience itself? Travelling to me is experiencing all aspects of the culture.

It doesn't have to be visual. You can meet people, go to a city, go to a park, go hiking. These are all part of it.

We see your inability to see as an impairment or disability out of our ignorance, what do you think seeing people lack?

What is our disability? I think we have to be careful and not view something like a lack of understanding as a disability.

I am blind, and blindness is my impairment. But I'm disabled because the world around me isn't accessible. In terms of the countries they all had positives and negatives.

Colombia was definitely a new experience, but it was also my favourite place to live. What is imagination for you? That's difficult to answer. If you mean how do I imagine, through my other senses.

But as to what it is, I'm not sure. It seems to be an essential part of who we are as humans. What do you see in today's society that you dislike?

I'm not sure this is just a problem with today's society, but ignorance and denial regarding the reality of the world we live in.

My sons age 10 are really good friends with a boy who has been blind since birth. My sons have gone to his house a few times and have had a lot of fun.

I would like for him to come here, but it makes me nervous. I worry that he'll get bored or be uncomfortable.

As a child, what were some of your favorite experiences with sighted friends and their family? Being welcomed in to everyday activities.

My best experiences were with people who didn't worry, who let me run around and play, who let me climb and mess about with my friends.

But who also set boundaries, who told me to be quiet or to stop running, like they would any other child. Basically the best thing you can do is welcome him and treat him like any other kid.

They all were able to retain vision though 2 had to have an eye enucleated. Later in those same 2 passed away from associated secondary cancers in the 20s and 30s bc they received radiation to stop the tumours inherited is bilateral.

I am pregnant with a baby girl who inherited the genetic mutation and at 36 weeks will deliver so they can monitor and treat the tumours.

Being induced early allows the critical growth stage of 36 to 42 weeks gestation to be monitored and treated.

I would. I will pass the LCA gene on to any child I have, but my partner would have to be a carrier for us to have a blind child.

Even if my child is blind I'd know how to raise them. I could teach them to read, to travel, to do anything they wanted to. I understand it's more complex with something like RB, but I think you have to do whatever feels right for you.

Do you play any instruments? If so, which instrument s? I used to play the clarinet but haven't in years. I was never very good at music.

If there was an option for surgery that granted you sight, would you consider it? I wouldn't, it doesn't interest me.

What are some UI changes reddit could make to improve accessibility for the blind? What are some things other sites often do which make them difficult for you to read and navigate?

Reddit is honestly a bit of a clusterfuck. It's accessible enough, but sometimes the focus of my screenreader jumps around. There also aren't many headings used, which is the primary way screenreaders navigate online content, so it's a pain to find the section of the page that you want.

In terms of other sites a lack of alt text is a huge problem. We convey so much information through images, but if it isn't tagged correctly a blind person misses all of it.

What would be the best way to interact with a blind person? Like let's say you went inside a new building and people there knew you were blind would you be offended if they offered to help you find your way?

Or tell you how many steps there are or watch out for things that may be in your way? Would that come off as overbearing? It's annoying when people constantly tell me, because it's actually distracting.

If someone offers that's fine, so long as they listen when I say no. Which genders are you attracted to? When did you realize you were attracted to them and what was it about them Both, though men more than women.

I'm not sure, I guess I was a pre-teen and I started to have crushes on people. All the time. You just get used to it. Also, we don't actually count steps, we may have good spacial awareness and can tell approximately how much distance we've travelled, but step counting is a bit of a myth.

If she's in the United States I really recommend that she reaches out to the National Federation of the Blind to find out about their training centers.

The Colorado Center for the Blind made a huge difference to my life. Why did the moderators remove this?

Because I can't hold up a sign with my username Unless they want it in braille? Maybe this is question is better suited to those who raised you, but do you know if there was anything atypical about your language development?

I'm very interested in this too. I had fairly advanced language development, which I know through speaking with my parents and reading school and medical reports.

Many congenitally blind children do have atypical language development though. What parenting tips would you suggest to someone who has a young child who is blind or losing sight?

Have high expectations, don't expect less of them because they are blind. Expect them to do chores around the house, to work hard in school and to be polite.

They can and should do these things. I occasionally see the same blind man on the sidewalk navigating the DC metro and city streets.

I believe he lives around my work. Sometimes he looks completely lost. I have on a few occasions guided him to the correct train or set of stairs.

He just says thank you and continues on. Is there anything else I could do to help him or be a good samaritan to other blind folks in the city?

Asking is honestly the best thing. Either the blind person will need assistance or they won't. It's worse to assume that someone does when they might not, so I feel that by asking you're already doing the right thing.

So I know I am very late to the AMA party here, but hopefully you still are able to answer this for me. What are some good things to know as a cop so that I can better interact with the blind?

Especially, of course, victims who need to report crimes. But either witnesses who may have info or even perpetrators.

I've read almost this entire thread and with some of your answers to other questions, I can only imagine how blind people may be treated by uninformed or wilfully ignorant officers.

This is such an important question, thank you for asking. Firstly, the biggest thing is to view them as credible.

Obviously a blind person is capable of lying, but they aren't automatically less credible just because they can't give you a visual account of what has happened.

This is a particularly pervasive problem in cases that involve sexual assault. Also, if you're approaching a blind person in the street because there's a situation, it's good to identify yourself as an officer.

I have no way of knowing if the person is a random stranger, who I might brush off, or a police officer unless they tell you.

Some blind people will want to be given your badge, to see if you have one, or take your ID number. Try not to be upset or angry, it isn't that we don't believe you, just again that we can't visually verify what you're saying.

This is an interesting AMA. Thanks for doing this. I am not familiar with what caused your blindness, so let's assume we are able to bypass it It's a completely safe surgery, but the implant is permanent.

Would you do it? No, I wouldn't. My brain has adapted to my blindness, and I feel like getting vision would be really disruptive and uncomfortable.

As a parent it would cause me a lot of pain to think about my child being blind. Have you ever discussed how your parents felt with them?

Yes, if it does upset them, they don't show it which is so, so important. I would have hated growing up, knowing my parents wished I was someone else.

Your parents would never wish you to be someone else, they world just want take away anything that might cause you pain.

It is good to hear you had the support and love you needed. Absolutely, but you also owe it to your child to keep some of those feelings from them.

It's really damaging to know that people around you would change a fundamental part of who you are. Absolutely a parent should seek support when they have these feelings, but it should never be made obvious to the child.

Are you religious? Has anyone prayed for you to see? If someone offered would you be open to it? If yes, do you think other blind people would?

I'm not, if people are going to pray, I'd rather they pray I actually have a happy and meaningful life. I have no interest in seeing, some blind people do and that's totally their right.

When you masturbate what do you mentally picture? If I'm in a relationship at the time I'll often think about that person and things they've said or done.

Do you depend on someone else or did you figure out on how to do normal every day activities that people take for granted on your own?

I can do pretty much anything alone. I can cook, clean, do my laundry, travel to and from work etc. The only thing I can't do is drive, so I'll take busses and trains or use Uber sometimes.

This could have already been asked, there's so much knowledge we all want to glean from you. Have you ever thought about or done a race, running, biking, swimming, or anything where you have a guide?

There's some great races where you can feel the wind on your face and the sound of the trees around you. I guess it doesn't have to be a race.

Just how much have you been able to feel the wind and the trees. Thank you for answering all of our questions.

My respect on one, putting yourself out there and answering personal questions, and also being a complete boss on your answers. Sure, thanks for reading.

I love more extreme sports, so I've been skydiving and paragliding for example. I'd love to do more things like that.

I also really enjoy skiing and tandem cycling. I hope I don't sound rude, but how do you or blind people in general know where to go especially in a big city?

Is it difficult to find shops and run errands without getting lost? Bonus question: How do service dogs know where you want to go? Like if you wanted to go to a specific restaurant for example, how does a service dog aid in getting you there?

I know by exploring, by asking questions, by learning about the layout of the city. And service dogs receive instruction from the handler.

The dog doesn't actually know where it's going, it is the handlers job to give it commands like find left, or find right.

What do you enjoy about traveling? But also foods a big one. I imagine being blind, food would be the main reason.

Also has anyone tried using sign language to communicate with you? I honestly worry about that misunderstanding alot Haha maybe they have but I just didn't see them.

I have been asked if I know it though! And the food, meeting people, visiting different places like museums and parks, the whole aspect of immersing yourself in another culture.

Is the experience of sight something you wish deeply you could do? It definitely feels overwhelming to the point where I wouldn't take a cure if it was offered to me.

While living in the US, did you find it a relatively accessible country or no? Super informational. Makes me want to sign up as a volunteer for Be My Eyes : Thank you, I'm so glad that you are enjoying them.

If you have any video topic requests, feel free to leave a comment on one of my videos as I may not see it in this thread as it's so big.

It was fairly accessible, as with most places, the attitudes of others were the biggest barrier I faced. People not believing I could do something, rather than be actually not being able to do it.

Do you still have Isla the guide dog? If so, was she already trained? What signals do they give to let you know there is steps, a road?

She retired last year, but she's living a very happy life with some friends of mine. She was trained when I got her, they are trained to stop at roads and steps.

This rivets me. My mom went blind on and off through her life. Glaucoma and surgeries. She only sometimes had sight in one because she lost the other to cataracts.

I was her eyes. I knew how to help her, somehow. Have you ever had a person you let be your eyes? To a point, sometimes I'll ask people for visual information.

But I wouldn't want to create a relationship where it's expected, I think it can result in some uncomfortable power dynamics. I'd rather get that info from a paid service like Aira.

This is just my personal preference. How would you rate reddit's accessiblity? Kind of a pain, honestly. Was learning Braille hard? Is Braille the same in other countries outside of the UK?

It wasn't because I was very young, so it was just like a sighted child learning print. This doesn't have an easy answer. Broadly it's the same.

The letters A to Z are the same in all languages that use the Latin alphabet, much like they are in print. However, most languages have what is known as contracted, or grade 2, braille.

So one character might represent several letters. In English, we have such a character for er, or the, or wh. Because these are common letter combinations.

Grade 2 in French will be different, as will grade 2 in German. English speaking countries have also had some variation when it comes to more advanced presentation rules, and certainly braille mathematics.

That is why in the early s Unified English Braille was created. With increases in electronic braille production, it was viewed as important to create a unified code, so that electronic braille could easily be shared between English speaking countries, and so there wouldn't be these small variations.

You mentioned you love books. You also mentioned that books that are meant to be realistic, but have poor depictions of blind characters frustrate you.

I honestly thought it was a bit ridiculous, but not the worst I've read. Have you ever tried to draw anything from your imagination and if so, what did you draw?

Could you visualise the drawing after you drew it based on the shapes? I'm horrible at drawing. I've tried on paper where the lines then are raised, but I'm just not coordinated enough.

I struggle to even draw a circle unless I can draw around something. Are there any questions you get that you are tired of or are just like what the hell?

Also what's a question that you never have been asked but want to answer? Honestly how I use a computer.

It's exhausting that most people still don't know this. And not really, I do find the deeper, more thoughtful questions interesting though.

Are heights or flying scary at all to you? I actually don't like heights, so I've done things like skydiving and paragliding because I need to get over myself.

Do you make facial expressions? I can't tell you how I know them, I just do. Do you think you compare yourself to people less than those of us who are sighted?

So much of the standard women hold themselves to seems visual to me. Weight, beauty, aging, fashion I imagine you not to be bombarded with these standards, advertisements, social media visuals.

Do you feel less pressure on these things than you imagine we do? I still feel a huge amount of pressure, compounded by not being able to compare myself.

I have to ask people about my own appearance, which then makes me worry that they aren't completely truthful. Even if they are, it's their perception.

I'll never have my own true perception of myself, because it's always filtered through information I'm given by others.

Is there an equivalent of line graphs and charts that blind people can use? For example did you understand the concept of exponential growth at the start of the Covid crisis?

You can plot these using tactile graph papers. There are audio graphs, which can give an overview of the information. Do you own a printer, 2d or 3d.

Can you read print text if its embossed? I can sort of read print if it's embossed, but often I forget the shapes of the letters and have to be reminded.

I don't currently own a printer, I usually go to a library if I need a document printing. It's known as nystagmus.

It can exist as a condition on its own, but often it goes hand in hand with other eye diseases, particularly forms of congenital blindness.

Essentially I have no control over the muscles in my eyes so these are involuntary movements. To piggyback off the person asking about software accessibility - do you ever spend time with software on a non-personal device - like a public kiosk?

Are you able to use the product if there is no headphone jack? If it has audio output yes. But I would only use something like an ATM if it had a headphone jack so that I could access the information in a confidential manner.

What software do you use, especially for email? My mother is blind, stubborn, and cantankerous, always has been even before blindness.

She uses an ancient version of JAWS and refuses to update, and I'd love to know what options are out there.

Jaws is good but she'd be better off using the latest version with win Are you often browsing on reddit? And if so, what subreddits do you visit?

You don't have to list any of them if they are too private Dogs, blind and the not the onion are some of my favourites. Also just browsing random things.

Reddit is kind of a pain in terms of accessibility, so I honestly go elsewhere for chat, which is a shame because I like the people here.

I'm actually curious about how Blind People can use computers and how you can read our questions. I'm guessing a special machine is involved, but how does it work?

I use a screenreader, a piece of software that uses synthesised speech to read out what's on the screen. I also touch type and navigate using a keyboard instead of the mouse.

Have you ever thought deeply that being blind was going to affect all your life and had a breakdown or were really depressed?

There have been times. Mostly when a certain aspect of my life isn't going well, so it's easy to attribute it all to blindness. When really there are usually many factors at play.

It is an interesting app I found for helping with tasks. I thought it would be great to help out a blind or visually impaired person.

I have tried it, it can be really useful in certain situations. How was your experience in Colombia? For how long did you live there? I loved it, I lived there for a year and it was the best year of my life.

I loved everything about Colombian culture and the friends I made there. Also, is your username because of In the Heights, or just a coincidence?

Do you ever feel self conscious about what you look like to others? I do, I'm still under the same pressure other people are to look a certain way.

I also agreed with them that JoJo was definitely part of my sexual awakening, and Gal Gadot is also gorgeous. Specially when there are plenty of free subreddits for whatever you want.

The girls hit the nail on the head. The idea that you can be in contact with those girls is the key. Video Game Guy: No idea what is wrong with that guy.

I was in the middle of a COD Warzone round last week, and straight ditched my team for sex. Good on her for still sending nudes even when they live together.

Feel like that is something that fades once a couple moves in together. Cheater Girl: Rip off the bandaid. It would be kind of a dick move to tell him you cheated with someone better, but if he is an asshole when you try to leave him, you can have that ready in your back pocket.

Sorry, my dude. Go get it. Dick Pics: I get this guy being paranoid about sending nudes if he wants to be a professional athlete.

It seems most players and celebs that have gotten in trouble for sending nudes is because they are in a relationship and sending them to someone else.

At least mutually trade nudes so you have dirt on each other. Virgin Guy: A year-old virgin is really not that bad. Everyone has a story. But also, the majority of women have been sexually assaulted in some way.

I think a girl would be very understanding. Might not be what they signed up for in a hook up, but dating, sure.

Hope everyone likes this. Again, just my opinion on a lot of things. Feel free to disagree with me. Thanks to lurking here for years, 10 months ago I left my wife and life in so many ways has got so much better!

Hi all, just wanted to share my story. I met my wife when I was 23 and the first months was amazing. Crazy attraction to each other, good sex and we used to experiment a bit which was fun and exciting.

Unfortunate Communication in the bedroom and generally when speaking about thoughts and emotions was terrible, and it was really hard to please her sexually with zero feed back.

Eventually it was just sex, hurry up and finish type deal which got less and less attractive to me. I would have left but being invested in a house I lacked the courage.

Then our amazing boy came along and things were good for a couple of years, both infatuated and adoring our amazing boy.

We loved him so much and still do today. I lasted about two years like this and the depression and mental health struggles kicked in.

No intimacy, no kissing or cuddles or even hand holding. I stayed in the relationship so I could see my boy every day and not miss any of his milestones growing up.

I work 4 days on 4 days off so we had plenty of family time and I had plenty of one on one time with him while my wife was back to work.

Plus I needed to find myself again, be happy, be the person I was proud to be. I was sick of being angry all the time. Angry at life. My choices. I moved out of home and once the financial side of things was negotiated I bought her out of the House and she moved out and I moved back in.

He is 5. After getting back in the dating game via tinder I slowly got my confidence back after years of mental abuse. Being called fat, ugly stupid etc.

I got my mojo back and all my friends noticed, I was becoming the real me again. I met some wonderful people and hardly had a bad date, I was however dating outside of my hometown to reduce the impact on my ex and people I knew smalll town After about 9 months had passed being separated I finally looked on tinder in my home town.

He is finally getting a happy dad, not just a dad that pretends he is happy in front of him. This women is amazing, sexually we are so open and communicate everything and as time goes on thinks are getting freakier and freakier lol but it all done with complete love and respect for each other.

I had no idea how toxic my previous relationship was until finding out after 11 years what a real relationship should be like.

No negative tones, no yelling, no arguing just honest healthy communication and respect for one another.

We have even considered doing a chaturbate think just talking about it turns us on or something similar and constantly making private videos out in public I do landscape photography so in isolated places and home videos.

Sex is times daily and is better than I ever imagined it could be. It was a tough couple of years staying when things got pretty bad, but it was all about my son.

Possibly I would have done 12 months sooner if I could do again. Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading. Ask any questions you like. Thank you for all your posts and comments I read while lurking, it gave me the courage to improve my life and mental health as I was in a few really dark places for a while there.

Thanks to you all for your honest sub. I realized months ago I needed to control myself. I live with my parents, who sadly live in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest.

Growing up with no other guys around me to experiment me, I grew obsessed with porn. It was the only thing that was good in life.

I'd masturbate to Pornhub between moments of gaming, staying up all night and skipping school the next day.

I missed over 40 days in one trimester. I was ugly and hated in real life, kids would call me gay and break my things.

Online RPGs let me pretend I was a hero, and porn let me fantasize and lust over the sexiest men possible.

I remember switching between tabs of Runescape and GayTube. In community college, I didn't play games as much, but my porn usage continued.

I loved watching men on Chaturbate perform, I loved scrolling through Tumblr for hours on end. I had a limit; if it was 1AM, I'd only allow myself 30 more minutes of masturbating.

But most of the time, I loved the sensation too much, and drawn in by the allure of more videos, I usually kept going on until AM.

Sometimes I grew soft and couldn't get hard again despite finally finding a video I'd like to cum to. Some nights I accepted defeat and just went to sleep.

Many nights I kept trying to get hard again, though. I'd usually only get hours of sleep. It wasn't until I transferred to the college I'm at now that I actually kissed another guy.

I had lost weight after graduating HS, and I felt new. He was cute and cuddly, and I wanted to hold him forever. We were supposed to be watching Harry Potter in his dorm room, but soon enough we found each other looking at one another.

With my heart racing, we kissed. We giggled. And we kissed again and again and again and again. I left that night with my heart singing.

The night I sucked my first dick was horrendous. Like the night we kissed, we were just supposed to be watching a movie. But long story short, things got heated.

As I blew him, he pulled down my pants, and we embraced each other. I wanted nothing more than to fuck this man. But to my despair, I was soft. I wasn't nervous by any means.

Yet there I was, flaccid. Noticing my condition, he flinched. I remember him saying that he was ugly. We stopped.

My heart broke. He was my everything, and my dick convinced him he was ugly. He was self conscious of the weight he had put on in college, but I thought he was beautiful.

I sent him roses, he thanked me, but by the next week we stopped talking altogether. I miss him. It was during this time I realized I no longer got morning wood.

Fearing the worst, I went to my room and tried to get hard. I couldn't. So I pulled out my phone to find porn. I was finally able to get hard then.

I blamed my stress from school for my inability to get an erection. Months pass, and nothing changed. I'd watch porn every night until the early morning and masturbate.

I used Grindr to find hook ups, but I usually just ended up blowing them. Guys would ask to suck my dick in return, but Id politely decline, much to my frustration.

Once while I was at the movies with a date, he tried to reach down my pants while we sat in the back. He wanted to suck my dick then and there.

I would've love nothing more, but I pulled him away. I knew I couldn't get hard. I eventually tried bottoming. I moaned immensely as I was rimmed for the first time.

I was at a sex party and the host, a daddy, ate my ass like it was birthday cake. This guy next to me that was getting fucked laughed, "Yet another bottom is born.

Since that day, I've been fucked by around ten guys. I wish I could say I enjoyed it. I tried to convince myself I'd eventually like it and one day hooked up with a guy at a nearby college.

He fucked me all night, unfortunately. I remember the gut wrenching pain I was in, despite being well lubed. I bit down on my pillow and let him use me.

The next day I was in misery. I never had my gut felt that way before. I hated being gay. I hated being me. Eventually, I became interested in NoFap.

I didn't like the religious aspect of it, and I didn't like the way people demonized sex workers, but I tried it on my own account.

After weeks of not masturbating to porn, I was finally able to get morning wood again. You won't believe how happy I was.

I kept going, trying my best to not masturbate. Grindr made this difficult- I loved sexting with guys, and it made not jerking off hard if guys were sending me pics of their butts.

Long story short, while on vacation I met a guy at a bar, and I finally fucked a man for the first time. Looking down and seeing my dick inside another man's ass was unbelievable to me.

I didn't last long. After he finished in me, we cuddled and talked the whole night. I flew home a couple hours later. I hooked up with some other guys.

It was surreal to finally get hard around another guy. But like the fool I am, I went back to porn.

I thought I was cured. The very next day my morning wood stopped again. It's now been months since I've been another guy. Last week was the last time I masturbated to porn.

Sexy guys get posted on every gay subreddit, and guys on Twitter love to show off everything they're packing. Notre service unique vous permet de trouver des films gratuits rapidement et sans aucun effort de votre part.

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I would go several days without music or wear noise cancelling headphones to get myself disconnected. It sometimes happens with my vision, where it's just too much information and my brain needs a break.

So I'm wondering what's it like in your case, if you've ever experienced something like that? Where there's too much sensory information and you need to shut it out but you need it to get around?

And another extremely random one. I work and architecture and was trying to figure out how someone would go about designing a house while blind.

Besides textures, how would you try and build a house for yourself if you could? That sounds like sensory processing disorder, which I have experienced aspects of yes.

I'm not sure, definitely lots of outside space and a big kitchen, but those are because of my love of being outside and also of cooking, more than blindness!

So this might sound weird, but my friends have a year old daughter who is blind. What kind of playing made you happiest as a kid?

Climbing, playing football, running about. Just normal kid stuff. To us, travel is a very visual experience, what is it to you?

How do you experience the travel experience itself? Travelling to me is experiencing all aspects of the culture.

It doesn't have to be visual. You can meet people, go to a city, go to a park, go hiking. These are all part of it. We see your inability to see as an impairment or disability out of our ignorance, what do you think seeing people lack?

What is our disability? I think we have to be careful and not view something like a lack of understanding as a disability.

I am blind, and blindness is my impairment. But I'm disabled because the world around me isn't accessible. In terms of the countries they all had positives and negatives.

Colombia was definitely a new experience, but it was also my favourite place to live. What is imagination for you?

That's difficult to answer. If you mean how do I imagine, through my other senses. But as to what it is, I'm not sure. It seems to be an essential part of who we are as humans.

What do you see in today's society that you dislike? I'm not sure this is just a problem with today's society, but ignorance and denial regarding the reality of the world we live in.

My sons age 10 are really good friends with a boy who has been blind since birth. My sons have gone to his house a few times and have had a lot of fun.

I would like for him to come here, but it makes me nervous. I worry that he'll get bored or be uncomfortable. As a child, what were some of your favorite experiences with sighted friends and their family?

Being welcomed in to everyday activities. My best experiences were with people who didn't worry, who let me run around and play, who let me climb and mess about with my friends.

But who also set boundaries, who told me to be quiet or to stop running, like they would any other child. Basically the best thing you can do is welcome him and treat him like any other kid.

They all were able to retain vision though 2 had to have an eye enucleated. Later in those same 2 passed away from associated secondary cancers in the 20s and 30s bc they received radiation to stop the tumours inherited is bilateral.

I am pregnant with a baby girl who inherited the genetic mutation and at 36 weeks will deliver so they can monitor and treat the tumours.

Being induced early allows the critical growth stage of 36 to 42 weeks gestation to be monitored and treated.

I would. I will pass the LCA gene on to any child I have, but my partner would have to be a carrier for us to have a blind child.

Even if my child is blind I'd know how to raise them. I could teach them to read, to travel, to do anything they wanted to.

I understand it's more complex with something like RB, but I think you have to do whatever feels right for you. Do you play any instruments? If so, which instrument s?

I used to play the clarinet but haven't in years. I was never very good at music. If there was an option for surgery that granted you sight, would you consider it?

I wouldn't, it doesn't interest me. What are some UI changes reddit could make to improve accessibility for the blind? What are some things other sites often do which make them difficult for you to read and navigate?

Reddit is honestly a bit of a clusterfuck. It's accessible enough, but sometimes the focus of my screenreader jumps around. There also aren't many headings used, which is the primary way screenreaders navigate online content, so it's a pain to find the section of the page that you want.

In terms of other sites a lack of alt text is a huge problem. We convey so much information through images, but if it isn't tagged correctly a blind person misses all of it.

What would be the best way to interact with a blind person? Like let's say you went inside a new building and people there knew you were blind would you be offended if they offered to help you find your way?

Or tell you how many steps there are or watch out for things that may be in your way? Would that come off as overbearing?

It's annoying when people constantly tell me, because it's actually distracting. If someone offers that's fine, so long as they listen when I say no.

Which genders are you attracted to? When did you realize you were attracted to them and what was it about them Both, though men more than women.

I'm not sure, I guess I was a pre-teen and I started to have crushes on people. All the time. You just get used to it. Also, we don't actually count steps, we may have good spacial awareness and can tell approximately how much distance we've travelled, but step counting is a bit of a myth.

If she's in the United States I really recommend that she reaches out to the National Federation of the Blind to find out about their training centers.

The Colorado Center for the Blind made a huge difference to my life. Why did the moderators remove this? Because I can't hold up a sign with my username Unless they want it in braille?

Maybe this is question is better suited to those who raised you, but do you know if there was anything atypical about your language development? I'm very interested in this too.

I had fairly advanced language development, which I know through speaking with my parents and reading school and medical reports.

Many congenitally blind children do have atypical language development though. What parenting tips would you suggest to someone who has a young child who is blind or losing sight?

Have high expectations, don't expect less of them because they are blind. Expect them to do chores around the house, to work hard in school and to be polite.

They can and should do these things. I occasionally see the same blind man on the sidewalk navigating the DC metro and city streets. I believe he lives around my work.

Sometimes he looks completely lost. I have on a few occasions guided him to the correct train or set of stairs. He just says thank you and continues on.

Is there anything else I could do to help him or be a good samaritan to other blind folks in the city? Asking is honestly the best thing.

Either the blind person will need assistance or they won't. It's worse to assume that someone does when they might not, so I feel that by asking you're already doing the right thing.

So I know I am very late to the AMA party here, but hopefully you still are able to answer this for me. What are some good things to know as a cop so that I can better interact with the blind?

Especially, of course, victims who need to report crimes. But either witnesses who may have info or even perpetrators.

I've read almost this entire thread and with some of your answers to other questions, I can only imagine how blind people may be treated by uninformed or wilfully ignorant officers.

This is such an important question, thank you for asking. Firstly, the biggest thing is to view them as credible.

Obviously a blind person is capable of lying, but they aren't automatically less credible just because they can't give you a visual account of what has happened.

This is a particularly pervasive problem in cases that involve sexual assault. Also, if you're approaching a blind person in the street because there's a situation, it's good to identify yourself as an officer.

I have no way of knowing if the person is a random stranger, who I might brush off, or a police officer unless they tell you.

Some blind people will want to be given your badge, to see if you have one, or take your ID number. Try not to be upset or angry, it isn't that we don't believe you, just again that we can't visually verify what you're saying.

This is an interesting AMA. Thanks for doing this. I am not familiar with what caused your blindness, so let's assume we are able to bypass it It's a completely safe surgery, but the implant is permanent.

Would you do it? No, I wouldn't. My brain has adapted to my blindness, and I feel like getting vision would be really disruptive and uncomfortable.

As a parent it would cause me a lot of pain to think about my child being blind. Have you ever discussed how your parents felt with them?

Yes, if it does upset them, they don't show it which is so, so important. I would have hated growing up, knowing my parents wished I was someone else.

Your parents would never wish you to be someone else, they world just want take away anything that might cause you pain.

It is good to hear you had the support and love you needed. Absolutely, but you also owe it to your child to keep some of those feelings from them.

It's really damaging to know that people around you would change a fundamental part of who you are.

Absolutely a parent should seek support when they have these feelings, but it should never be made obvious to the child. Are you religious? Has anyone prayed for you to see?

If someone offered would you be open to it? If yes, do you think other blind people would? I'm not, if people are going to pray, I'd rather they pray I actually have a happy and meaningful life.

I have no interest in seeing, some blind people do and that's totally their right. When you masturbate what do you mentally picture?

If I'm in a relationship at the time I'll often think about that person and things they've said or done.

Do you depend on someone else or did you figure out on how to do normal every day activities that people take for granted on your own?

I can do pretty much anything alone. I can cook, clean, do my laundry, travel to and from work etc. The only thing I can't do is drive, so I'll take busses and trains or use Uber sometimes.

This could have already been asked, there's so much knowledge we all want to glean from you. Have you ever thought about or done a race, running, biking, swimming, or anything where you have a guide?

There's some great races where you can feel the wind on your face and the sound of the trees around you. I guess it doesn't have to be a race.

Just how much have you been able to feel the wind and the trees. Thank you for answering all of our questions. My respect on one, putting yourself out there and answering personal questions, and also being a complete boss on your answers.

Sure, thanks for reading. I love more extreme sports, so I've been skydiving and paragliding for example.

I'd love to do more things like that. I also really enjoy skiing and tandem cycling. I hope I don't sound rude, but how do you or blind people in general know where to go especially in a big city?

Is it difficult to find shops and run errands without getting lost? Bonus question: How do service dogs know where you want to go?

Like if you wanted to go to a specific restaurant for example, how does a service dog aid in getting you there? I know by exploring, by asking questions, by learning about the layout of the city.

And service dogs receive instruction from the handler. The dog doesn't actually know where it's going, it is the handlers job to give it commands like find left, or find right.

What do you enjoy about traveling? But also foods a big one. I imagine being blind, food would be the main reason.

Also has anyone tried using sign language to communicate with you? I honestly worry about that misunderstanding alot Haha maybe they have but I just didn't see them.

I have been asked if I know it though! And the food, meeting people, visiting different places like museums and parks, the whole aspect of immersing yourself in another culture.

Is the experience of sight something you wish deeply you could do? It definitely feels overwhelming to the point where I wouldn't take a cure if it was offered to me.

While living in the US, did you find it a relatively accessible country or no? Super informational. Makes me want to sign up as a volunteer for Be My Eyes : Thank you, I'm so glad that you are enjoying them.

If you have any video topic requests, feel free to leave a comment on one of my videos as I may not see it in this thread as it's so big.

It was fairly accessible, as with most places, the attitudes of others were the biggest barrier I faced. People not believing I could do something, rather than be actually not being able to do it.

Do you still have Isla the guide dog? If so, was she already trained? What signals do they give to let you know there is steps, a road?

She retired last year, but she's living a very happy life with some friends of mine. She was trained when I got her, they are trained to stop at roads and steps.

This rivets me. My mom went blind on and off through her life. Glaucoma and surgeries. She only sometimes had sight in one because she lost the other to cataracts.

I was her eyes. I knew how to help her, somehow. Have you ever had a person you let be your eyes? To a point, sometimes I'll ask people for visual information.

But I wouldn't want to create a relationship where it's expected, I think it can result in some uncomfortable power dynamics.

I'd rather get that info from a paid service like Aira. This is just my personal preference. How would you rate reddit's accessiblity?

Kind of a pain, honestly. Was learning Braille hard? Is Braille the same in other countries outside of the UK? It wasn't because I was very young, so it was just like a sighted child learning print.

This doesn't have an easy answer. Broadly it's the same. The letters A to Z are the same in all languages that use the Latin alphabet, much like they are in print.

However, most languages have what is known as contracted, or grade 2, braille. So one character might represent several letters.

In English, we have such a character for er, or the, or wh. Because these are common letter combinations.

Grade 2 in French will be different, as will grade 2 in German. English speaking countries have also had some variation when it comes to more advanced presentation rules, and certainly braille mathematics.

That is why in the early s Unified English Braille was created. With increases in electronic braille production, it was viewed as important to create a unified code, so that electronic braille could easily be shared between English speaking countries, and so there wouldn't be these small variations.

You mentioned you love books. You also mentioned that books that are meant to be realistic, but have poor depictions of blind characters frustrate you.

I honestly thought it was a bit ridiculous, but not the worst I've read. Have you ever tried to draw anything from your imagination and if so, what did you draw?

Could you visualise the drawing after you drew it based on the shapes? I'm horrible at drawing. I've tried on paper where the lines then are raised, but I'm just not coordinated enough.

I struggle to even draw a circle unless I can draw around something. Are there any questions you get that you are tired of or are just like what the hell?

Also what's a question that you never have been asked but want to answer? Honestly how I use a computer. It's exhausting that most people still don't know this.

And not really, I do find the deeper, more thoughtful questions interesting though. Are heights or flying scary at all to you? I actually don't like heights, so I've done things like skydiving and paragliding because I need to get over myself.

Do you make facial expressions? I can't tell you how I know them, I just do. Do you think you compare yourself to people less than those of us who are sighted?

So much of the standard women hold themselves to seems visual to me. Weight, beauty, aging, fashion I imagine you not to be bombarded with these standards, advertisements, social media visuals.

Do you feel less pressure on these things than you imagine we do? I still feel a huge amount of pressure, compounded by not being able to compare myself.

I have to ask people about my own appearance, which then makes me worry that they aren't completely truthful. Even if they are, it's their perception.

I'll never have my own true perception of myself, because it's always filtered through information I'm given by others.

Is there an equivalent of line graphs and charts that blind people can use? For example did you understand the concept of exponential growth at the start of the Covid crisis?

You can plot these using tactile graph papers. There are audio graphs, which can give an overview of the information.

Do you own a printer, 2d or 3d. Can you read print text if its embossed? I can sort of read print if it's embossed, but often I forget the shapes of the letters and have to be reminded.

I don't currently own a printer, I usually go to a library if I need a document printing. It's known as nystagmus. It can exist as a condition on its own, but often it goes hand in hand with other eye diseases, particularly forms of congenital blindness.

Essentially I have no control over the muscles in my eyes so these are involuntary movements. To piggyback off the person asking about software accessibility - do you ever spend time with software on a non-personal device - like a public kiosk?

Are you able to use the product if there is no headphone jack? If it has audio output yes. But I would only use something like an ATM if it had a headphone jack so that I could access the information in a confidential manner.

What software do you use, especially for email? My mother is blind, stubborn, and cantankerous, always has been even before blindness. She uses an ancient version of JAWS and refuses to update, and I'd love to know what options are out there.

Jaws is good but she'd be better off using the latest version with win Are you often browsing on reddit? And if so, what subreddits do you visit?

You don't have to list any of them if they are too private Dogs, blind and the not the onion are some of my favourites.

Also just browsing random things. Reddit is kind of a pain in terms of accessibility, so I honestly go elsewhere for chat, which is a shame because I like the people here.

I'm actually curious about how Blind People can use computers and how you can read our questions. I'm guessing a special machine is involved, but how does it work?

I use a screenreader, a piece of software that uses synthesised speech to read out what's on the screen.

I also touch type and navigate using a keyboard instead of the mouse. Have you ever thought deeply that being blind was going to affect all your life and had a breakdown or were really depressed?

There have been times. Mostly when a certain aspect of my life isn't going well, so it's easy to attribute it all to blindness. When really there are usually many factors at play.

It is an interesting app I found for helping with tasks. I thought it would be great to help out a blind or visually impaired person.

I have tried it, it can be really useful in certain situations. How was your experience in Colombia? For how long did you live there?

I loved it, I lived there for a year and it was the best year of my life. I loved everything about Colombian culture and the friends I made there.

Also, is your username because of In the Heights, or just a coincidence? Do you ever feel self conscious about what you look like to others?

I do, I'm still under the same pressure other people are to look a certain way. I also feel more pressure because if I don't look good, maybe people will attribute that to my blindness and just assume I don't know how.

Honestly most things, because people have such low expectations of blind people. Travel, get a job, move away from home, just have a normal adult life.

Looks like the mods want proof. How do you plan to do this blind? I'm not sure how to submit proof to them?

I have all my documentation if they want it! Do you ever listen to audiobooks? I do, maybe the His Dark Materials trilogy. I love so many books though.

How do audiobooks and films with audio description compare to each other, is there one your prefer? I prefer books but I think that's personality, more than blindness.

My sighted sister also prefers books to tv. We both grew up reading a lot as children. How do you perceive colours when you haven't seen them?

When someone says "I have a red car", what do you imagine? I don't, I just accept it as a fact and file it away. Do you get motion sickness?

On a roller coaster, a car, a boat or a plane? Or any other way of travel? I don't personally. Is there anything that we i.

I know you are certainly neither stupid nor incapable, but just wondering what I can do to be more considerate perhaps.

Mostly just asking rather than assuming someone needs help, then listening to the answer that is given. Being grabbed is the worst.

Hi, I am the father of a 5-month old who was also just diagnosed with LCA. What are some of the things that you wish your parents would have done differently as they were raising you?

Hi, it's so great to meet other LCA families. I really wish they'd encouraged me to use a cane far more than they did. Developing those skills at a young age is really critical and makes for a much easier transition into adult life.

If you'd like to reach out feel free to do so, I've included a lot of links in my original post and I'm happy to answer more questions, but as this thread is huge I might miss them here.

Hi CatchTheseWords, Hope your day finds you well. Do you find or have others commented your senses are better than the sighted?

And if so I'd love to say it was as easy as just deciding to be a superhero! My other senses aren't any better, I just pay attention to them more.

When you were younger, did other children ever bully you for being blind or take advantage of your blindness to bully you more easily?

This happened mostly when I was in primary school. It's great that you are self-reliant. But I cannot resist assuming there have been people in your life who must have given you the maximum amount of information about the world around you that couldn't have perceived unless you saw it yourself or unless somebody explained it to you.

Who are these people and how did they help you understand the world? Honestly mostly it was books. I learnt a lot about body language, or how things look, by reading about them.

I'm also very lucky to have lots of people in my life who will answer questions if I ask them. My parents for example have always been very open with information.

And my orientation and mobility teachers who taught me to use a cane, and who encouraged me to explore my environment.

How's the quality on audio description for visual media? Do you feel you're getting a good representation of what's happening on screen?

Overall I feel the quality is high, and I usually get the information I need. Having said that, I've no way of knowing if details are left out, because I wouldn't know they were there unless someone told me.

I am a developer who create apps for use. How is modern technology assisting with additional needs for you? Is there additional improvements you see that could help bring internet within your reach easier?

Really complying with existing accessibility guidelines is the biggest thing, and conducting accessibility testing.

Technology can remove so many barriers, but if it isn't designed to function with assistive technology it can create barriers as well.

What comes to mind when you think of racism? White conservative assholes. Definitely say you have it, otherwise we're likely to put our hand out for it and find it's not there.

It's totally fine to hold the door, equally, if you're in a rush don't feel guilty for not holding it. Navigation without a cane, unless in an environment like someone's house, is really dangerous.

It's not a mark of success or achievement to do that, because with echo location you can still miss a hole in the ground and fall in it.

But yeah, I can echo locate, though mostly I do it passively. Angry at life. My choices. I moved out of home and once the financial side of things was negotiated I bought her out of the House and she moved out and I moved back in.

He is 5. After getting back in the dating game via tinder I slowly got my confidence back after years of mental abuse. Being called fat, ugly stupid etc.

I got my mojo back and all my friends noticed, I was becoming the real me again. I met some wonderful people and hardly had a bad date, I was however dating outside of my hometown to reduce the impact on my ex and people I knew smalll town After about 9 months had passed being separated I finally looked on tinder in my home town.

He is finally getting a happy dad, not just a dad that pretends he is happy in front of him. This women is amazing, sexually we are so open and communicate everything and as time goes on thinks are getting freakier and freakier lol but it all done with complete love and respect for each other.

I had no idea how toxic my previous relationship was until finding out after 11 years what a real relationship should be like.

No negative tones, no yelling, no arguing just honest healthy communication and respect for one another. We have even considered doing a chaturbate think just talking about it turns us on or something similar and constantly making private videos out in public I do landscape photography so in isolated places and home videos.

Sex is times daily and is better than I ever imagined it could be. It was a tough couple of years staying when things got pretty bad, but it was all about my son.

Possibly I would have done 12 months sooner if I could do again. Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading. Ask any questions you like.

Thank you for all your posts and comments I read while lurking, it gave me the courage to improve my life and mental health as I was in a few really dark places for a while there.

Thanks to you all for your honest sub. I realized months ago I needed to control myself. I live with my parents, who sadly live in the middle of nowhere in the Midwest.

Growing up with no other guys around me to experiment me, I grew obsessed with porn. It was the only thing that was good in life.

I'd masturbate to Pornhub between moments of gaming, staying up all night and skipping school the next day. I missed over 40 days in one trimester.

I was ugly and hated in real life, kids would call me gay and break my things. Online RPGs let me pretend I was a hero, and porn let me fantasize and lust over the sexiest men possible.

I remember switching between tabs of Runescape and GayTube. In community college, I didn't play games as much, but my porn usage continued.

I loved watching men on Chaturbate perform, I loved scrolling through Tumblr for hours on end. I had a limit; if it was 1AM, I'd only allow myself 30 more minutes of masturbating.

But most of the time, I loved the sensation too much, and drawn in by the allure of more videos, I usually kept going on until AM.

Sometimes I grew soft and couldn't get hard again despite finally finding a video I'd like to cum to. Some nights I accepted defeat and just went to sleep.

Many nights I kept trying to get hard again, though. I'd usually only get hours of sleep. It wasn't until I transferred to the college I'm at now that I actually kissed another guy.

I had lost weight after graduating HS, and I felt new. He was cute and cuddly, and I wanted to hold him forever. We were supposed to be watching Harry Potter in his dorm room, but soon enough we found each other looking at one another.

With my heart racing, we kissed. We giggled. And we kissed again and again and again and again.

I left that night with my heart singing. The night I sucked my first dick was horrendous. Like the night we kissed, we were just supposed to be watching a movie.

But long story short, things got heated. As I blew him, he pulled down my pants, and we embraced each other.

I wanted nothing more than to fuck this man. But to my despair, I was soft. I wasn't nervous by any means. Yet there I was, flaccid.

Noticing my condition, he flinched. I remember him saying that he was ugly. We stopped. My heart broke.

He was my everything, and my dick convinced him he was ugly. He was self conscious of the weight he had put on in college, but I thought he was beautiful.

I sent him roses, he thanked me, but by the next week we stopped talking altogether. I miss him. It was during this time I realized I no longer got morning wood.

Fearing the worst, I went to my room and tried to get hard. I couldn't. So I pulled out my phone to find porn. I was finally able to get hard then.

I blamed my stress from school for my inability to get an erection. Months pass, and nothing changed. I'd watch porn every night until the early morning and masturbate.

I used Grindr to find hook ups, but I usually just ended up blowing them. Guys would ask to suck my dick in return, but Id politely decline, much to my frustration.

Once while I was at the movies with a date, he tried to reach down my pants while we sat in the back. He wanted to suck my dick then and there. I would've love nothing more, but I pulled him away.

I knew I couldn't get hard. I eventually tried bottoming. I moaned immensely as I was rimmed for the first time. I was at a sex party and the host, a daddy, ate my ass like it was birthday cake.

This guy next to me that was getting fucked laughed, "Yet another bottom is born. Since that day, I've been fucked by around ten guys.

I wish I could say I enjoyed it. I tried to convince myself I'd eventually like it and one day hooked up with a guy at a nearby college.

He fucked me all night, unfortunately. I remember the gut wrenching pain I was in, despite being well lubed. I bit down on my pillow and let him use me.

The next day I was in misery. I never had my gut felt that way before. I hated being gay. I hated being me. Eventually, I became interested in NoFap.

I didn't like the religious aspect of it, and I didn't like the way people demonized sex workers, but I tried it on my own account.

After weeks of not masturbating to porn, I was finally able to get morning wood again. You won't believe how happy I was. I kept going, trying my best to not masturbate.

Grindr made this difficult- I loved sexting with guys, and it made not jerking off hard if guys were sending me pics of their butts.

Long story short, while on vacation I met a guy at a bar, and I finally fucked a man for the first time. Looking down and seeing my dick inside another man's ass was unbelievable to me.

I didn't last long. After he finished in me, we cuddled and talked the whole night. I flew home a couple hours later.

I hooked up with some other guys. It was surreal to finally get hard around another guy. But like the fool I am, I went back to porn.

I thought I was cured. The very next day my morning wood stopped again. It's now been months since I've been another guy.

Last week was the last time I masturbated to porn. Sexy guys get posted on every gay subreddit, and guys on Twitter love to show off everything they're packing.

It's addicting. I'm currently home for winter break, and I've never felt more alone. My parents live in the middle of nowhere; the closet town is a retirement community.

I get the urge to watch porn so badly. I try to occupy my time, but it always lingers in the back of my mind constantly.

I've deleted Twitter, and I haven't used Grindr in a week. I thought I could handle Grindr, but I couldn't.

Getting sent pictures of a sex party made me relapse. My goal is to not masturbate to porn for three months.

I feel so hollow and angry at myself. I need to control myself. There's a party in April at a gay bar two hours away.

That's my short term goal. I want to actually meet someone without the fear of erectile dysfunction in the back of my mind.

I'm I shouldn't be dealing with this, yet I am. I want to go to that party and have fun. Three months shouldn't be hard, right?

I'm struggling. Last week I relapsed everyday. But I'm holding up now, and it's been almost a week. This is my New Years Resolution, and I want to make it work.

I honestly just wrote this out for myself, but I also wanted to share my story too. I can't be the only one going through this, right?

Porn isn't the Devil. Sex workers are honest workers. I love porn. But my habits aren't healthy. As much as I love porn, I love people more.

The feeling of being with people can't replace the feeling of my hand. I wish I could turn back time and have sex with the guy I kissed for the first time.

I wish I could say we became a couple. But I can't. I can only go forward. Thank you if you read this. What advice do you have for me?

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